maybe he's cheap because he has so little to give

for those of you who know me well, you know that i like to party, smoke, and drink socially.  that's why it was so strange when i started dating T who did none of these things.  we met off of yahoo personals back before sites like match.com and eharmony were popular.  i knew he didn't drink or smoke but i still wanted to give him a chance.  he was cute -- tall, nerd glasses, lots of tattoos, and he looked like he worked out.  sexy times!

(there are plenty of hot straight edge men.  take henry rollings for example.)

our first date we met in old town alexandria.   we got starbucks (i paid for myself) and we walked around.  T didn't have much to say and i was nervous so i rambled on about nonsense.

second date was more walking around and more paying for myself.  this time, we went to bertuccis in old town.

our third date was my annual new year's eve party.  i told all of my friends about this hot tattooed man... who was straight edge.  he didn't care about me drinking or smoking but he didn't do it himself.  i was weirded out by the whole thing.... and i still wasn't quite sure what i thought of T.  even after our third date, i still found him to be quiet and shut off.  i thought he was shy at first but now he's becoming increasingly boring.

after more chatting on the phone and a couple more uneventful dates, we make a date to go to kyoto japanese restaurant in alexandria.

(this was my first time there and i've been back several times.  the food is really good!!)

he picks me up and as we arrive, i joke with him that i'm so hungry i could eat the ocean.  he says "well i only budgeted for you to get 2 rolls."  way to make it awkward!  we go inside and i order my two sushi rolls.  we have our same conversation of me asking him questions and him giving me short answers in return.  boring!

we go back to my house and start fooling around.  he is NOT a good kisser.

he's doing that tongue dart thing and the whole thing feels very un-sexy.  i try to kiss him in the way i like to be kissed but he is not getting the hint.  next thing i know, his pants are off.  surprise!  i was not prepared for that.  i like the more gradual approach to fooling around.  yes, we've had about six dates at this point but we hadn't kissed at all and now your pants are off!!!

so... i glanced down at his penis, hoping it was long or thick or both...

no.

IT WAS A BABY DICK!!!

i think T was the original "baby dick", a moniker i give to men that have little dicks.  so sad for T.  his looked like a thumb that had been partially amputated.  between that and his terrible kissing skills, i knew i could not work with this.

i told T "oops sorry, i forgot i have a meeting in the morning" and he was out the door in a flash.  he was not happy and i could see it in his face.  sorry T, just because you finally paid for my 2 sushi roll dinner does not mean i owe you anything.

he called and left several voice mails after that.  the last one he was yelling "YOU BETTER CALL ME!!" which i did not do.

when i joined match.com last month, he found me on there and checked out my profile.  i checked his out too and he hasn't changed a bit.  poor T... you will find someone.