the cube

I had mentioned on my Facebook last week that I was cleaning my office and came across my "cube paper".  The cube is a written test that gives you some insight to things in your life.  My hairstylist shared it with me years ago and after finding it again, this will be a "test" I give to all my suitors.

1. The cube

How big is the cube?
What is its color? What do you think about that color?
How far away is it from you?
Is it transparent? Can you see what is inside?
How big is the cube compared to the desert? What is the ratio?

2. There is a ladder.

Is the ladder leaning on the cube?
What is the color of the ladder? What is it made of?
What impression does it give you?
What is the distance between the cube and the ladder?

3. There is a horse.

What is the distance between the cube and the horse?
What is the color of the horse?
What impression does it give you?
Is it tied? Is there a saddle?

4. There is a storm.

What is the distance between the storm and the cube.
Is it a big storm or a small storm?
Is it passing by or staying?

5. There is a flower/ there are flowers.

How many flowers are there?
Where is/are the flower/s?
What is the color of the flower/s?
How do you feel about the flower/s?

Answers are in the comments BUT DON'T PEEK!!!!  You can only do the cube test once in your life.  Enjoy :)

boring!! or is it?

there hasn't been much dating recently.  i'm working to earn a company trip to jamaica so it's been work work work, party party party, some fun with the FWB. 

FWB is a past guy i dated who i was CRAZY about.  i really thought i had finally found my next boyfriend, but commitment issues on his part got in the way so we split up. i've been so incredibly busy recently, but i still have needs.. which is where he comes in. he comes over, we conversate, and then 4 hours of crazy sex later, he goes home.  he spent the night for the first time on sunday and i appreciate him being a quiet sleeper!!

i had lunch with one of my girlfriends today and as we're catching up, she asks me if i want to date this guy, how i feel about everything, all the things your good girlfriends ask you about a potential partner.

if HE was ready and wanted a relationship, i would consider it.  but based on his past track record i'm not willing to strike out a third time and be the one to ask where we stand.  frankly, i'm satisfied with our current arrangement and once i earn the trip, i can get back to going on dates again with new men.  i'm not putting a lot of energy into it and i'm taking it for what it is: the bomb dot com sex from a very passionate man, who is thoughtful and kind but terrified of committing to anything....

Happy Fcking Valentine's Day

Hello loyal readers! We are only two days away from everyone's favorite (or least favorite holiday) Valentine's Day! Personally, I fucking hate Valentine's Day. It's a stupid Hallmark holiday that is designed to make people feel bad about themselves when they're single. Or, if they have a partner and their partner doesn't make us some huge grand gesture, then they're left feeling like shit. So fuck Valentine's Day. Now with that said in my line of work, I fucking LOVE Valentine's Day. It's a great time of year to be a romance consultant because everyone is shopping for something special. They don't want a fucked up night. And neither do I.

Aside from my new friends with benefits I don't have anything really going on. I have been so busy recently working turn a free trip to Jamaica that I have not been so focused on dating. And when you have a hot guy that fucks the shit out of you on call, there's really no need to hit the streets and find another man. Now I do want to boyfriend, yes, but I'm okay with what I'm doing right now. My friends with benefits is somebody that I've talk to you about before but I'm not ready to reveal who he is yet. Maybe not at all. Let's just say that he's really good in bed and he scratches all of my itches. He's not trying to be up in my shit and after his track history I wouldn't allow it. Never again. But for now he's someone who I can have fun with until I make the time to get out there and start dating again.

For now loyal readers, I hope you have an amazing Valentine's Day whether you're flying solo or with a partner. Just remember that every day is Valentine's Day, do something nice to show your love and respect for each other on a daily basis. And don't worry about me, I will be fine. I'm hoping to go to lunch with one of my besties and then perhaps a sushi dinner in the evening. I refuse to sit at home and feel sorry for myself because I haven't found that right person. And to be honest even though it's been five years since I had a Valentine's, I wouldn't want my Valentine to be that asshole from five years ago. No tears here baby. See you next week!

TMI on the perils of being a woman

oh the joys of womenhood... this week's topic is that bitch aunt flo and how she unexpectedly pops up and fucks up my life for 4 days.  i can usually tell when she's coming, i get emotional or testy and my gut starts talking to me.  here's a breakdown of our fun itinerary:

 (TMI STARTS HERE)

day one: blood, cramps, headaches, shitting

day two: crying at every commercial on tv, see day one.

day three: i transform into an evil bitch and want to fuck people up with my words and actions.  see day one.

day four: feeling like a cat in heat, desire to have a man turn me into a puddle, but unfortunately see day one.

to the guys that may be reading this far, i'm sorry... what you read is a mirage.  women don't poop.

to the ladies that may be reading this, why were we so desperate to get our periods when we were young???  can i get a do over??!

now... what do my bodily functions have to do with my dating life?  well, i have a dating fatwa when flo comes to visit.  i don't make dates when "company" is in town.  and obviously i wouldn't fool around with someone when that's happening, but more importantly i feel gross when it's happening.  i abhor tampons and walking around with one half in and half out of your vagina is the anti-sexy.  i'd much rather hide in my house and see ya next week.

i was supposed to have a dinner date end of last week with Mr SK but he was non responsive.  the day of the date i texted him and asked if we were still doing dinner, he told me he was overworked and tired but would call me.  that was thursday and i'm still waiting for that call.  i texted him today when i was going thru my 412 text messages, trying to clear out my inbox.  he's been busy and had a friend in town...

(i'm not REALLY waiting... he's just not that into you)

 the other guy i went on a date with last week... i'm not sure if we are the right fit so i haven't actively been pursuing it.

and then... one of my past dates/love interests/almost my boyfriend dudes has turned into a FWB.  i'll tell you more about that when we meet again next week.  for now, he is really digging my star stickers for a job well done....