TMI on the perils of being a woman

oh the joys of womenhood... this week's topic is that bitch aunt flo and how she unexpectedly pops up and fucks up my life for 4 days.  i can usually tell when she's coming, i get emotional or testy and my gut starts talking to me.  here's a breakdown of our fun itinerary:

 (TMI STARTS HERE)

day one: blood, cramps, headaches, shitting

day two: crying at every commercial on tv, see day one.

day three: i transform into an evil bitch and want to fuck people up with my words and actions.  see day one.

day four: feeling like a cat in heat, desire to have a man turn me into a puddle, but unfortunately see day one.

to the guys that may be reading this far, i'm sorry... what you read is a mirage.  women don't poop.

to the ladies that may be reading this, why were we so desperate to get our periods when we were young???  can i get a do over??!

now... what do my bodily functions have to do with my dating life?  well, i have a dating fatwa when flo comes to visit.  i don't make dates when "company" is in town.  and obviously i wouldn't fool around with someone when that's happening, but more importantly i feel gross when it's happening.  i abhor tampons and walking around with one half in and half out of your vagina is the anti-sexy.  i'd much rather hide in my house and see ya next week.

i was supposed to have a dinner date end of last week with Mr SK but he was non responsive.  the day of the date i texted him and asked if we were still doing dinner, he told me he was overworked and tired but would call me.  that was thursday and i'm still waiting for that call.  i texted him today when i was going thru my 412 text messages, trying to clear out my inbox.  he's been busy and had a friend in town...

(i'm not REALLY waiting... he's just not that into you)

 the other guy i went on a date with last week... i'm not sure if we are the right fit so i haven't actively been pursuing it.

and then... one of my past dates/love interests/almost my boyfriend dudes has turned into a FWB.  i'll tell you more about that when we meet again next week.  for now, he is really digging my star stickers for a job well done....