the gym man

this week's blog is about unrequited love, second chances, and looking like an asshole.  here's a song to enjoy while you read:

in an attempt to get healthier, i joined a bougie $72 a month gym that was full of hot bodies, fancy workout machines, and some really killer yoga and pilates classes.  after only being a gym member for a couple weeks, i noticed a guy and thought he was really cute.  tall, black, very thin, handsome face.  i often had staring contests with the back of his head and of course would quickly look away when he did recognize i was staring at him.  this went on for a couple of months, because i'm overly shy and have a fear of rejection.

one day, to my excitement and surprise, the gym man got up on the treadmill next to me and we started talking.  he asked me about my tattoos as a way to break the ice and we made plans to see each other again at the gym.  i hadn't planned on going to the gym that next day as i had a party, but i really wanted to run into him again so off i went.  we connected the following day, exchanged phone numbers, and made plans to go on a date.

our first date he took me out for sushi and we walked around the waterfront. really awesome date!  i did break my rule and i kissed him on the first date. 

 (my rule is if i really like you, i don't kiss you on the first date)

we dated for about 2 months.  i was really starting to develop strong feelings for him and fantasizing about him being my boyfriend.  since he wasn't bringing it up i decided that 2 months was long enough.... so i broached the subject and basically was told that he was not looking for a relationship, that he's still hung up on ex-girlfriend.  i was very hurt and that was the end of that.  that was last summer.

now, gym man was always very good about checking in on you.  even though things didn't work out the first time, he still texted me on my birthday and thanksgiving and he seemed genuinely interested in me and my life.  i remember driving home from the bar thanksgiving night last year and we were exchanging flirty texts, and that was where things picked up again.  but this time it was different.  he was more involved, there were more dates, and more sleepover parties.  i was really feeling like things were finally beginning to work in my favor.

fast forward to february 2013, i expressed to him i thought it was weird that i have never met any of his friends before.  between this time and last time, we've been dating 4 months, he's met my sister and even my bestie from kansas city.  so lo and behold, the next time we talk, he invites me to friends superbowl party.  i'm so excited that i cancel my own superbowl party!

(it's ok, only one person RSVPED)

i get to go meet his friends who all seemed to like me, we had an amazing time at the party.  i'm feeling like i've finally met a guy who i think is super cute, i'm crazy about him, he makes me want to go to the gym more, and all around pretty postitive things.  my sister really liked him too.

a couple weeks after the superbowl party, i started to get ansty again.  i wasn't sure where we stood and he wasn't saying anything to me.  i'm feeling some kind of way and i need to know what he's feeling.  so i talked to him and he basically told me he wasn't ready.  AGAIN.  at this point i'm floored because i feel like a fucking idiot for not only dating him once and having him do that, but dating him a second time.  he told me that he still was hanging out with his ex, as friends.  they weren't intimate but they did go on weekly costco trips together because they shared a membership.  and she was a manipulator and he was unable to get away from her.  what a fucking bag of testicles.

(street justice?)

i kinda let him off the hook a bit.  i tend to be bitchy with people i'm not as close to, whereas the people i am close to i'm a pussy around them.  i need to switch that up... anyway... 

so i'm all FUCK THIS GUY.  i was sad, gave myself a month, and i moved on.  i blocked him on facebook, i deleted his number from my phone, i excorcised him from my life because that's what you gotta do sometimes.


last week, i got a text from a number i don't recognize asking me something about the redskins.  my curiousity is piqued.  i ask who it is and after a couple back and forth texts of them not wanting to say who it is, they reply and say it's the gym man.  CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?  OMG. *sigh*

in an asshole fashion, i kinda pick at him and tell him he's an idiot because i'm the best woman ever, he had TWO chances with me, and he blew both of them! i did also send him a picture of me looking all sexy in mexico, on the beach in a hammock, with my nice juicy booty in the air and said "YOU COULD HAVE HAD THIS".  maybe that was a little bit mean, but fuck him.  he fucking deserves that shit.

(i mean, seriously.  i am someone's dream girl.)

at this point, i feel like i've made him feel like a fucking douchebag tool.  while i can honestly say that i'm not into revenge, i did take some pleasure in making him feel like shit and letting him know that he isn't privy to my facebook, that i don't even give him a second thought because he's not in my phone, and i really hope that he thinks twice when he dates the next girl and does the same shit to her.

gym man's problem is that he's obsessed with his ex-girlfriend.  i just don't get it and i don't say this to be hating on other women, but i find that a lot of the guys i tend to date go for the mousey girls.  and i'm far from mousey.  i have a big personality,  i'm gorgeous, i dress well, i try to be put together.  i run a successful business, i have my own car, a stable home... i'm a catch.  i think that guys just can't handle all this!  they seem to want a women who looks like a "what not to wear" reject and has more issues than national geographic.

i'm sure there are things are putting out there too, i'm not completely blameless here.  i have dad issues, a fear of abandonment, getting clingy sometimes... just a desire to be loved, but at what cost, really?  i look at me and i look at these women and i wonder, are they easier?

perhaps that's just how it goes.  for now, i can say that i really have no feelings either way about gym man.  but it's pretty fucking funny, and there will be no third chance with me, bitch.

knowing your worth

i had written this amazing blog post, but my computer did an automatic system upgrade and i lost the file.  that's what i get for writing things on notepad and not using word which backs up my work... lesson learned.

so, mountain man is back home and life is returning to normal for the district dater.  i had an amazing week with my man and i miss him.  we visited nearly all the big monuments (washington, lincoln, vietnam, WW2, white house, saw the national xmas tree and more).  we walked the old town waterfront.  we had create your own 6 packs.  two double dates.  we laughed so much, snuggled, laughed more.  he met my mom, i can't even tell you the last time i brought a guy home to meet her.  so many amazing adventures.  i'm still just as crazy for him, if not more so now, and i love that we really enjoy each others company.  between when we met in colorado and him driving to visit me last week, we've had 12 magical days together.  if he lived here, there would be no question of who i'd want to be with.  however, this blog would turn into a vomit inducing love fest... you're safe from that, for now, reader.

(okay, maybe a little vomit is good...)

i had an epihany while he was here, something i've always known but never fully realized in my conscious mind -- i'm a big damn deal, and men are lucky to have a chance with me.  i don't say this to sound arrogant, more like my father was a collosial douchebag who never showed me how a man should properly treat a women and as i've gotten older, i've idenitified the ways this has negatively affected me.  i've allowed myself, in the past, to be victimized emotionally and made to feel less than i'm worth.  my last 2 boyfriends are a great example of that.  i will no longer accept a man talking to and treating me any kind of way. and really, i have my mountain man to thank.  from rescuing me when i fell down the mountain to holding every door imaginable open for me and carrying bags from shopping, there are small subtle things he did that made me feel special, important, and loved.  a gal can get addicted to these things!

(please, one dick at a time)

while i'm holding onto the memories of an amazing 7 day adventure with my possible future husband, i know that it's not our time yet.  he lives in ohio and has his projects he's working on.  i'm in virginia working my business, becoming financially abundant, and hoping to move to colorado in the next year.  if i had it my way, we'd be re-united and live happily ever after as mountain people.  until then, it's back to the drawing board of dating.  we both decided that it's not fair to either of us to carry on a long distance relationship but i gotta say -- MM has ruined me for other men.  i don't know if it's possible to meet someone else that is such a great fit for me like he is!

the day after he left, my phone started blowing up with potential suitors.  it's like they know.  funny how that works.  the gym man from my past reared his ugly head again... fuck off.  (note to self: write a blog about the gym man).  i have several dates lined up for this week: a teacher, a chef, and a rapper.  possible dates with a musician/teacher and a TV production guy (who i made out with a couple weeks ago and my BFF doesn't care for, but i'll give him a second date).  i'd like to think i've found what i've been looking for, but in the meantime, i look forward to the company and new adventures.  until next week....

my amazing adventures with the mountain man

it's hump day, you know what that means.......  new blog time!

(the real mountain man is not as furry, or old)

i have many back logged stories of assholes that have done me wrong, but that's not what you want to hear about today.  let's talk about my mountain man.  please note that i'm 2 beers in to a 6 pack beer challenge, so i'm just going to type my thoughts and not worry too much about the editing...

my mountain man drove 6+ hours to see me, and we've been kicking it since saturday.  i've had a few men over the years that have made plans to visit me, but it never worked out, so i didn't want to get myself too excited.  i saved that for when we got to the 24 hour countdown and i managed not to projectile vomit before he got here.  i was nervous leading up to his visit, hoping that we still had that spark, that we were still attracted to each other... thankfully it's all still there. :)

my mountain man is SO not my type, but i happened to meet him during a moment of thinking outside of the box.  they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.  so, in that line of thinking, me dating the same type of guy over and over and expecting to find a good one is the definition of insanity.  appearance wise, mountain man is 6'1", 25 years old, with curly brown hair, brown eyes, glasses, and reddish brown stubble.  he is SO cute!  he has the best sense of humor and we laugh so much together, we say the same things.  we both like the same activities too, so there's always a lot to talk and laugh about.  and i want to eat him up.  i want to do terribly dirty and amazing things to him.  aside from that, he adores my crazy cat that no one likes, and JJ adores him.  it's pretty cool to date a man who actually likes your pet!  

we've managed to have some amazing adventures.  we've been all over DC, alexandria, and arlington.  we walked all the monuments, visited the american history museum, danced and drank at the clubs, hung out with my BFF, walked the old town waterfront, lots of happy hours, ate some amazing foods, and drank lots of craft beers.  it's been pretty magical and while i love waking up to him in the morning, it's a bit sad knowing that the final day of his trip is coming.  the sex has been fucking epic.  FUCKING EPIC YA HEAR???  so many years of black men boyfriends that i forgot white dudes can fuck.

if my mountain man lived here, there wouldn't even be a question of who i'd want to be with.  but with my life here and his life in ohio, i don't think that either of us are in a position to currently change that.  i've also become more aware of my baggage around him and i blame that on years of dating assholes.  but while he's here, he is totally my boyfriend.  i touch him and i feel energy coming off of him.  he's so smart, and he's so observant.  any woman would be lucky to have him!

i hope that one day, our lives will be together because no one has ever made me feel the way this mountain man does.  being around him makes me the happiest i have ever felt.  i laugh the hardest around him.  can i meet a man here that compares to the mountain man?  god, i hope so.  i am really not looking forward to friday... maybe once he leaves, i will have a better grasp of my feelings.