(the DC diva, in the flesh)
now, for the much anticipated next blog by the DC Diva..
i'm not much of a reader but i've always been drawn to publications about dating and sex. it all started when i was fourteen and borrowed my friend's "dummies guide to sex" and declared i would be the next dr ruth. i had a subscription to seventeen but would sneak and buy cosmo. i wasn't dating, but more so i was teaching myself how to date should i ever have the opportunity. i was a very awkward teenager and needed all the help i could get!
(ok, so i wasn't this bad. my hair was longer and i didn't wear eyeshadow below my eyes. but close.)
i got an ipad for christmas 2010 that came with the ibooks app and i decided this would be a perfect opportunity for me to start reading again. i wanted to start easy, so i purchased "he's just not that into you".
i had always wanted to read this and i was hoping the book would give me some guidance. at this point, my last serious relationship ended two years ago and i want to meet better quality men (see my previous posts for examples).
(or look at this picture. you get the idea.)
"he's just that into you" gave me some tips of things i was doing "wrong":
-he's not into you if he's not asking you out. you are good enough to be asked out.
-he's not into you if he's not dating you. "hanging out" is not dating.
-he's not into you if he's not having sex with you. there's someone out there that does want to have sex with you.
i have experienced all of these things. it was like light bulbs were going off in my head. OMG he's right! i will never ask a man out again, i will not "hang out" with a man, i will let the guy come to me because if he really likes me, he will make it known. as i kept reading on, however, i began to realize that every single man i've ever dated long term was not into me. overall, it just left me feeling discouraged.
now, i have a crush on a guy that does lawn work for me. he's much older than me and everytime i see him or we text, all i can think is "ahhhh i like this guy and i want to ask him out" until i hear greg behrendt's voice saying "if he liked you, he would ask you out".
(i hate you, greg behrendt.)
biggest lesson i learned...
he's just not that into you if he's breathing.
this was great! you are amazing & all those dudes suck. seriously. i think maybe analysis of our attractions (like, c'mon, do you REALLY want old man lawn dudes asking you out? would that really end up in a healthy, positive, fulfilling relationship?) would reveal a lot more about why we go for the "wrong ones". why is lawn dude so appealing? does he really energize you intellectually/spiritually/whatever-ly? is it just a friendship feeling? a parental feeling? if he's really doing something positive for you, and you think it's a healthy move... ask him out!
ReplyDeletesometimes you just have to let yr guard down with dudes that you meet & not assume anything (even if they appear not-hot at first. not like, super ugly, of course... haha). friendship is a great first step. also: the more you care about yourself & take care of yourself, the more you attract people who are willing to do the same!!
love you! keep writing! these rule!
i love you. :)
ReplyDeletei like the lawn dude because he's funny, he's kind, he makes me laugh. he actually owns the lawn company.. he used to work for a national newspaper and quit because he was unhappy to start his own business. i admire that.
the gym has been making me feel great and i'm eating lots more veggies and taking a multivitamin + b vitamin. yay energy!
we shall see what happens but despite lawn guy's age, he appears to be a good guy.