i really put myself out there with him. i was transparent. i didn't put up the walls. we talked everyday thru text, 1-3 hour long phone conversations... and then suddenly, the phone conversations stopped, the long texts of Q&A changed to short replies. he wasn't giving me much to work with. he works essentially 2 full time jobs and takes care of his parents so that was already an issue, but then he took on a month long freelance assignment, essentially ending our budding romance. here's his work schedule, not accounting the freelance project:
mon: 10am-6pm
tue: 10am-6pm
wed: 10am-6pm, 10pm-6am
thu: 10am-6pm
fri: 10am-11pm
sat: 12pm-9pm
sun: 12pm-9pm
so where do i fit in? well, i don't. this ridiculous schedule, a month long assignment, taking on a second freelance project, and caring for his parents. i should have known better, but the rose colored glasses of the getting to know you period clouded my judgement. the sad thing for me is, we talked about his schedule and he assured me that he would make time for me. i feel bamboozled. and incredibly hurt.
*sigh*
i've been taking this a lot harder than i normally would with guys when things don't work out. i'm recognizing patterns within myself of how i handle emotional issues. and i don't do it well, my friends. i am so incredibly disappointed, but i'm ready to dust myself off and get back up on my feet.
i feel like a need a break from dating. it's too disappointing between meeting assholes and then meeting guys i like but it doesn't work out. i realize that it's best to meet someone when you're not looking, but i feel biologically we are designed to look.
i'm lonely, i want a partner, and while i have an amazing support system, my family and friends cannot fill every need for me.
let's hope next week will be better for my love life.
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