A aka teeth

i have a thing about teeth.  i like teeth; ones that are clean, smell nice, and aren't too crooked.  i've had a penchant recently for gapped teeth.  i used to hate them until i realized just how special that gap can be for oral sex.  :)

(my future husband, michael strahan)

when i meet a man that has bad teeth, it's a huge turn off.  i can overlook crooked teeth, but when i can smell that you haven't brushed your teeth in 412 days while you're chewing gum, we have a problem.  floss, what's that?

(note to the reader, i had my dental check-up today.  no cavities.  my dentist told me my teeth were spectacular.)

so... A aka teeth.  he was the first man i met from OKCupid.  average height, black, great job, own place, cute, excellent manners.  we met at "the only bar in DC where you can still smoke" -- a cigar bar on M i believe.  he was a gentleman, standing up every time i got up or when i came to sit down.  "that's what a real man does."

manners aside, he talked a lot about his job.  people in DC really care about that.  he was a lot shorter than he claimed.  i'm 5'8" in heels and i was definitely taller.    his teeth were fucked up.  they looked as if they were rotting inside his skull.  it's very unfortunate to listen to a man carry on about how successful he is with that shit in his mouth.  YUCK!

things improved when we moved to another bar in woodley park.  we were both a little more drunk - yay social lubricant.  he seemed to let his guard down too and i was having more fun.

(i'm thinking to myself, "ok, maybe his teeth aren't that bad.  that last bar had bad lighting.")

we got hungry and ended up at the diner.  he held the door, pulled out my chair, the whole nine.  it was nice to be treated so well.  but... don't get too excited.  this is when things got interesting.  he started trying to convince me to go home with him.

me: i don't go home with a guy on the first date.
him: techinically it's tomorrow.

nice one.  not happening.

i make a point to NOT shave before a first date so i won't go home with a dude.  he tells me that he will shave me in his bath tub.

(why did i tell him this?  don't drink 5 strong drinks in 3 hours.  also,

ewww.)

we ended up making out on my car parked right across from the diner.  on a thursday night.  people were hollering.  i enjoyed the kissing until a few minutes in when the foul i've never used floss in my life taste found it's way into my mouth.

never heard from him again.  i'm ok with that.