knowing your worth

i had written this amazing blog post, but my computer did an automatic system upgrade and i lost the file.  that's what i get for writing things on notepad and not using word which backs up my work... lesson learned.

so, mountain man is back home and life is returning to normal for the district dater.  i had an amazing week with my man and i miss him.  we visited nearly all the big monuments (washington, lincoln, vietnam, WW2, white house, saw the national xmas tree and more).  we walked the old town waterfront.  we had create your own 6 packs.  two double dates.  we laughed so much, snuggled, laughed more.  he met my mom, i can't even tell you the last time i brought a guy home to meet her.  so many amazing adventures.  i'm still just as crazy for him, if not more so now, and i love that we really enjoy each others company.  between when we met in colorado and him driving to visit me last week, we've had 12 magical days together.  if he lived here, there would be no question of who i'd want to be with.  however, this blog would turn into a vomit inducing love fest... you're safe from that, for now, reader.

(okay, maybe a little vomit is good...)

i had an epihany while he was here, something i've always known but never fully realized in my conscious mind -- i'm a big damn deal, and men are lucky to have a chance with me.  i don't say this to sound arrogant, more like my father was a collosial douchebag who never showed me how a man should properly treat a women and as i've gotten older, i've idenitified the ways this has negatively affected me.  i've allowed myself, in the past, to be victimized emotionally and made to feel less than i'm worth.  my last 2 boyfriends are a great example of that.  i will no longer accept a man talking to and treating me any kind of way. and really, i have my mountain man to thank.  from rescuing me when i fell down the mountain to holding every door imaginable open for me and carrying bags from shopping, there are small subtle things he did that made me feel special, important, and loved.  a gal can get addicted to these things!

(please, one dick at a time)

while i'm holding onto the memories of an amazing 7 day adventure with my possible future husband, i know that it's not our time yet.  he lives in ohio and has his projects he's working on.  i'm in virginia working my business, becoming financially abundant, and hoping to move to colorado in the next year.  if i had it my way, we'd be re-united and live happily ever after as mountain people.  until then, it's back to the drawing board of dating.  we both decided that it's not fair to either of us to carry on a long distance relationship but i gotta say -- MM has ruined me for other men.  i don't know if it's possible to meet someone else that is such a great fit for me like he is!

the day after he left, my phone started blowing up with potential suitors.  it's like they know.  funny how that works.  the gym man from my past reared his ugly head again... fuck off.  (note to self: write a blog about the gym man).  i have several dates lined up for this week: a teacher, a chef, and a rapper.  possible dates with a musician/teacher and a TV production guy (who i made out with a couple weeks ago and my BFF doesn't care for, but i'll give him a second date).  i'd like to think i've found what i've been looking for, but in the meantime, i look forward to the company and new adventures.  until next week....

my amazing adventures with the mountain man

it's hump day, you know what that means.......  new blog time!

(the real mountain man is not as furry, or old)

i have many back logged stories of assholes that have done me wrong, but that's not what you want to hear about today.  let's talk about my mountain man.  please note that i'm 2 beers in to a 6 pack beer challenge, so i'm just going to type my thoughts and not worry too much about the editing...

my mountain man drove 6+ hours to see me, and we've been kicking it since saturday.  i've had a few men over the years that have made plans to visit me, but it never worked out, so i didn't want to get myself too excited.  i saved that for when we got to the 24 hour countdown and i managed not to projectile vomit before he got here.  i was nervous leading up to his visit, hoping that we still had that spark, that we were still attracted to each other... thankfully it's all still there. :)

my mountain man is SO not my type, but i happened to meet him during a moment of thinking outside of the box.  they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.  so, in that line of thinking, me dating the same type of guy over and over and expecting to find a good one is the definition of insanity.  appearance wise, mountain man is 6'1", 25 years old, with curly brown hair, brown eyes, glasses, and reddish brown stubble.  he is SO cute!  he has the best sense of humor and we laugh so much together, we say the same things.  we both like the same activities too, so there's always a lot to talk and laugh about.  and i want to eat him up.  i want to do terribly dirty and amazing things to him.  aside from that, he adores my crazy cat that no one likes, and JJ adores him.  it's pretty cool to date a man who actually likes your pet!  

we've managed to have some amazing adventures.  we've been all over DC, alexandria, and arlington.  we walked all the monuments, visited the american history museum, danced and drank at the clubs, hung out with my BFF, walked the old town waterfront, lots of happy hours, ate some amazing foods, and drank lots of craft beers.  it's been pretty magical and while i love waking up to him in the morning, it's a bit sad knowing that the final day of his trip is coming.  the sex has been fucking epic.  FUCKING EPIC YA HEAR???  so many years of black men boyfriends that i forgot white dudes can fuck.

if my mountain man lived here, there wouldn't even be a question of who i'd want to be with.  but with my life here and his life in ohio, i don't think that either of us are in a position to currently change that.  i've also become more aware of my baggage around him and i blame that on years of dating assholes.  but while he's here, he is totally my boyfriend.  i touch him and i feel energy coming off of him.  he's so smart, and he's so observant.  any woman would be lucky to have him!

i hope that one day, our lives will be together because no one has ever made me feel the way this mountain man does.  being around him makes me the happiest i have ever felt.  i laugh the hardest around him.  can i meet a man here that compares to the mountain man?  god, i hope so.  i am really not looking forward to friday... maybe once he leaves, i will have a better grasp of my feelings. 

colorado is for lovers

colorado is one of my absolute favorite places to visit, hands down.  my BFF, erica, lives there, i've made some great friends, everyone is so chill and kind, the scenery is amazing.... if you've been to colorado, you'll understand what i mean.  i fell in love with the rockies on my first visit in 2004 and i've been back 4 more times, falling deeper in love with the most amazing state EVER!

last year on my BFF visit, erica treated me to a getaway in eagle, colorado... a tiny bump in the road town past vail and 2 hours west of denver.  eagle is a bit of a slower pace than this DC gal is used to.  the town has 1 grocery store, 2 bars, a chinese restaurant... and that's it.  i'm not sure what the allure of eagle is, but we had so much fun last year, we decided to visit again on my trip this summer.  memories of shooting stars and seeing the milky way on the railroad tracks, townie friends at brush creek saloon, and the mountain lion guarding the graveyard were waiting for us.

(let's see where our journey takes us....)

the first night we arrived, there was a karaoke night at the one bar that stays open past midnight.  we sang our hearts out to green day and NIN while enjoyed free shots from one of the locals.  we made some new friends and did our usual lay on the railroad tracks and watch for shooting stars.  one of the guys in our group was a young, sweet guy... mountain man.  he offered to take me and erica inter tubing down the river and we exchanged numbers and made plans to meet up in the morning.  he seemed nice enough, kinda cute, and hopefully not insane.

the next day, we all met up and decided to instead go to the radium hot springs since it was a little cold for tubing.  we hiked for awhile to the springs and rock climbed down... it was a bit intense for me but i did it and was really proud of my accomplishments! we had a great time with new friends at the hot springs until this 50+ year old creeper dude appeared and decided it was a GREAT idea to skinny dip in the springs with 4 women... disgusting.  we jetted out of there and back to the car ASAP!

(not kidding when i say it was an intense rock scramble.. i did it in flip flops)

as we were hiking down the mountain, i slipped and went down down down... it was terrifying.  mountain man came to my rescue and thankfully, i didn't break anything.  i was however bleeding and i scraped up my arm and leg pretty good.

(i still have scars from that day)

i think back to when was the moment that i fell totally head over heels for my mountain man.  i think it was when i fell down that mountain.  he was so gentle with me and i felt like he rescued me.  walking the rest of the way down that steep decline, he took my hands and made sure i was safe.  i've never had a man be so concerned about my well-being.  it felt good to be protected.  I AM HOOKED!!!!!!!!!!

erica and i were leaving to go back to denver the next day, but i wasn't ready to say goodbye to my mountain man.  him and his friend followed us back to denver and the four of us spent 24/7 together until i left to come home to DC.  it was the most magical five days of my life... we did goth night, walked around denver, ate lots of pizza, candy, more pizza.  we spent a full day in boulder getting wasted on $3 sakis, riding long boards, talking to elves, making out in parking garages... laughing until we cried at pho, tool singalongs.. so much laughter. 

saying goodbye was so hard, but i held onto all the memories of our fun together, and hoped that we would see each other again one day... i knew he was special when erica told me she thinks he's my future husband.  BFF's for 15 years and she has never said that about any man!

fearful we wouldn't reconnect for 50+ years, or worse, never, i held out hope that we would once again reconnect outside of facebook and occasional texts or talking on the phone.

GOOD NEWS.

mountain man is coming to see me in three days!  i feel like a kid waiting for christmas.  and better yet, he's coming when erica is home so we can hang and relive some colorado adventures.  my heart may explode from the excitement between spending time with my mom, seeing my BFF, and seeing the man that makes me heart flutter.

i know what you're thinking........  FINALLY, A POSITIVE DATING POST!!  it's been so long overdue, my friends. :)

bill is an asshole

by popular demand, i will be updating this blog every wednesday (HAPPY HUMP DAY)!!!  

bill is this guy i had the displeasure of meeting through mutual friends back in 2010.  he's a preppy white dude, think georgetown prep or old DC money.  he looks like a skinnier, cuter version of seth rogen.

(i can work with this...)

i was initially attracted to him because he's a sarcastic asshole and i used to like assholes... we fooled around a couple times and ultimately, he wasn't looking for anything serious so we parted ways.  better to find out early.  recently we started talking again via facebook messenger.  he seems to have grown up a bit, super flirty, and wants to take me out to founding farmers for dinner.  FF is a *really nice* restaurant here in DC, the wait list is ridic, and i had a new dress from gwynnie bee so i was looking forward to our date that sunday.

the friday before our date, he was in my area and i needed help with something around the house, so he came over and helped out... and we fooled around.  i knew in the back of my mind that inviting him over before the date could mean the date was off, but it was imperative i get my house thing done, so... yeah.

maybe i manifested it or perhaps i've become astute when it comes to men, but it was no shock that sunday came and went and there was no date.

this week's lesson, single gals...
trust your gut, you're probably right.  don't "hang out" pre date because you'll miss out on some amazing crab cakes and prohibition style cocktails.

sweden

oh readers, i have sooo much to share!! :)  life has been intense since my last update (the one prior to a smorgasbord of men, this entry has been in draft form for awhile).  i lost my beloved nana to dementia, i went on two vacations and one business trip, and i turned thirty-one.  i will admit to being a bit "eek" and i do feel that (younger) people look at me a bit differently now when i tell them my age.  i chock that up to my good looks... and i've been dating more than ever, so that's great news for you!!

let's talk about sweden.  the guy, not the country.  he's blonde haired, blue eyes, muscle built guy, very strong accent, twenty-five years old, and he has these crazy awesome tattoos of werewolves, ancient bears, and an eagle.  YES. this darling lives in sweden but was visiting the states and cruising with his cousin and friend.  i met him at the nightclub on our girls cruise last month.  he asked for a smoke and we started chatting, he bought me a drink, and then we're on the dance floor with him sticking his tongue down my throat.  and in true "I'M ON VACATION" fashion, i went with it!

(he bought me a drink, but he didn't ask me what i wanted to drink.  i had a bad experience in las vegas a few years ago with winning 13 blackjacks in one night and also doing 13 shots of jagermeister.  i swore to never drink that shit again after feeling like i might die of alcohol poisoning the next day.  also, fuck licquorise.)

before long, we go back to his room to make out and his roommate is there, asleep.  hello college dorm circa 2000!  you only live once, right?  we didn't have sex because i wasn't trying to give his roommate a show, plus we didn't have a condom.  that didn't stop him from asking me if he could have anal sex with me...... men don't seem to understand that condoms are for more then preventing pregnancy...  guess the sex education in sweden didn't cover that.  instead, i sat on his face and we made a date for sex the following day.

the next day, our day at sea, he comes to my cabin where i'm staying with two of my girlfriends.  did i mention i'm sleeping on the top bunk?  seeing as how having sex on a bunk bed is a bit difficult, i had already hit my head several times simply climbing into bed to sleep, i decide the only solution is to have sex on my friend's bed.  that's what friends are for?  don't worry, reader, i'm not some hussy.  i used my own comforter and pillows as not to "dirty up" my roomies bed.  she knows i'd do it for her <3 AB <3 

somehow my bag of 412 condoms didn't make it in my suitcase.  AB retrievied a condom from the steward and we were ready to go.  i'll say this, if we'd had sex the night before, i bet ya it would have been reallllllllllly good. but at this point, i'm stone cold sober so it was ehhhhhhh... and he came too quickly.  we said our goodbyes and went about our merry ways, knowing we'd just had a one night cruise stand. 

(apparently this happens a lot, as i discovered doing my research for this entry...)

i went about my day, hanging out with the girls, laughing, eating, and gambling.  the last day of the cruise we're all stuck on the boat so you tend to explore more... and you also run into everyone.  so when i was at the casino cashing out my winnings and i noticed sweden, i went over to say hello and chit chat.

me: hey sweden, how's it going, are you winning?
sweden: uhm........... hi.

it was one of the most awkward experiences i've ever had.  and then it dawned on me......  IF YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE SEX ON A CRUISE SHIP, MAKE SURE IT HAPPENS THE LAST NIGHT SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE THIS AWKWARD CONVERSATION IN A CRUISE SHIP CASINO!!!!!  i made light of it, of course... for the remainder of the day when i'd run into my girlfriends, i'd say "uhm........... hi".  it gave me the giggles.  :) 

let this be a lesson to you, single cruise goers.  pack your condoms, make a game plan for where you're going to smush, and do it on the last night.  you're welcome.

a smorgasbord of men

well, a lot has happened since my update three months ago.  i met the man of my dreams, the mountain man (AKA my future husband, according to my BFF).  when i was visiting my BFF in colorado over the summer, we went to a tiny mountain town for some fun.  we met this young guy who offered to be our tour guide and he took us to a natural hot springs in radium, co.  when we were hiking back, i literally fell down the mountain and cut/bruised myself up pretty bad.  the mountain man saved me and that was it.  we spent the next five days together until i left to come home, and i'm really excited to see him again when he comes to visit me next week.  i think i have stars in my eyes. :) 

i came home from my trip painfully missing my mountain man.  something i never shared with this blog was that i dated another man off and on for 8 (grueling) years.  coming home to that lazy, uncaring asshole made me realize this "relationship" wasn't right for me.  things progressed downhill even further until we officially broke it off for good last month.  then 10 days later, he has a new girlfriend... don't waste any time!  i was hurt to hear the news, but i have a lot of good things going on in my life so i choose to ignore the few bad things that pop up.  i feel sorry for the new girlfriend and she can now put up with driving his ass around, being called "a bitch" 412 times a day, and no foreplay.

since i'm now single and my love lives far away, i've been dating more.  which has meant a LOT of sex.  and wading thru a lot of bullshit.

(if only my prospects looked like joseph gordon-levitt and cillian murphy)

• sweden, a 25 year old arian dude i met on my cruise to mexico.  he was really obsessed with his brother being gay, he had tattoos of ancient animals, he was a miner, and when i told him i didn't have a condom, he tried to stick me in my butt.
• bill c., who did a drive by and then no showed for our date.  and yes i am using his real name because he's a fucking asshole.  and not that good in bed.
• the backyard lover, a man from my past who visits me, buys me shit, and tries to do naughty things to me in my backyard.  the jury is out on this one... 
• sheet ripper, he made me rip my bed sheets but he doesn't have much going on between his ears.  he also has no concept of time.  and he's a cowboys fan... talk about sleeping with the enemy.  #HTTR
• the raver dater, who's actually into house music.  we went on 4 dates, had sex, and then suddenly he's too busy to communicate.  huh.. yeah.
• sean l., who i dated in college, we reconnected one night and i found out later he has a girlfriend.  you think you'd mention that??? and yes i am using his real name because he's a fucking asshole.  and not that good in bed.  HI SEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and lastly is my new friend i met the other night.  if i had a penis, i would have a serious boner even thinking about this man.

i'm one of those women who is shy to approach men and i prefer them to come to me... but that doesn't always happen.  i went to the bar with one of my besties for a fun night out and spotted this glorious man candy, we'll call him the rocker.  tall, salt n pepper hair, piercing blue eyes.  really fucking hot.  i stared him down for a bit and nothing happened.  later that night, i got up the courage to approach him.  i asked if he was alone and could i buy him a drink?  we spent the rest of the night talking and trying to stay warm.  he was kind enough to offer my bestie his coat and his good looks compliment his good personality.  i invited him back to my house where we spent 2 hours tangled up in each other which only left me wanting more.  and based on his texts, i think he feels the same.  i don't know that this will go anywhere, but the rocker is far better than the other dudes i've been seeing.  he's cute, he has a job and a car, he plays guitar, he's hot, he seems to like me.  that's what i call a good distraction.

if i had to pick one man to be with, hands down without hesitation, it would be my mountain man.  but since he now lives in ohio and i'm in virginia, it's unfair to both of us to call dibs or try to carry out a long distance relationship.  i worry deep down that we will get together when we're like 70 and i don't want to wait that long to be with him.  so for now, i date, and i hope for the best.  i'm having fun. :)  the single life isn't so bad!

denver speed dating

i believe that denver hasn't caught on to the okcupid craze. the DC locals searched usually yields 10-15 date opportunities whereas denver you're lucky if you get one bite in 8 days.
this is why i was willing to have what boiled down to a speed date with the rock climber.

the moment he arrived at the bar, i could tell by his demeanor this would probably not work out. he was so.... rigid. he looked boring. he also was a fan of the word "cheap". i've had a few of these dates.

("i love this bar because it's cheap" "i love being in beer club because it's free" "i love pbr because it's cheap" etc etc)

 

"cheap" should not be in your vocabulary for a first date. when a guy talks to me about being cheap on a date, what i hear is "you are not worth enough to me, you are inferior". show me you like me and pull out some cash.

this date was going absolutely no where. he didn't even buy me a drink!!! even after i said "hmmm i need to get another drink".

i've learned that in colorado, it's better to meet a man offline. :)